How to Start a Conversation with a Guy

The prospect of talking to a guy can be a intimidating to many girls, but if you're prepared and understand how to approach and talk to a guy, then you'll have more confidence and be less nervous.

1. Be Prepared
  • Stay relaxed and remember that guys are just people. They might be more nervous about talking to you as you are talking to them.
  • Just be yourself, if the guy doesn't want to talk to the "real" you, then he's probably not worth talking with.
  • Be ready for rejection. You won't be able to connect with every girl, so don't expect to build a deep bond with every guy that you talk to.
  • Think of an opening line to use and let the conversation flow naturally from there. (It's a good idea to have a backup line or two, just in case your opening line doesn't work out the way you planned.)
    • Your opening line will depend on the setting that you're in and the guy that you'll be approaching. Different opening lines will work to different degrees of effectiveness depening on your setting.
    • Restaurant or Bar: "Do you come here often?" or "What's good to eat here?"
    • School: "What classes are you taking?" or "What do you hope to do after you graduate?"
    Helpful tip: Practice striking up conversations with people you see, such as waiters, cashiers, etc. The more often you talk to people you don't know, the better you will be at starting conversations and you'll build up your confidence at the same time; this will make it easier for you to start conversations with guys.

2. Approach the Guy
  • Maintain good posture and keep your head up.
  • Make eye contact with the guy and smile. You don't need to have a huge grin on your face the whole time, but a flashing a nice smile, when appropriate will make him feel more comfortable.
  • Use your opening line and Introduce yourself.
  • Be sure to ask for the guy's name and use it during the conversation, guys love to hear their name. e.g. "That's awesome Joey!" or "Joey, do you have any upcoming vacation plans?"
  • Try to slip in a subtle compliment within the first few minutes, it'll put him put at ease and in a good mood. e.g. "I really like your shirt." or "You have really nice eyes."

3. Keep the Conversation Going
  • People love to talk about themselves, so try to drive the conversation so that he's talking about himself or about a topic that you're both interested in.
    • Be sure to pay close attention to what he's saying and how he responds so that you are able to direct the conversation to areas which he is interested in.
  • Don't ask close ended questions that can usually be answered with one or two words, ask open ended questions e.g. "How did you get so interested in cars?"
  • Keep the conversation light at first, if things go well, you can work your way into deeper conversation, but avoid delicate topics until the two of you know each other better.
  • Maintain good eye contact and avoid looking down at your phone too much. This will let him know that he has your attention and that you're interested in what he has to say.

4. Conclude the Conversation
  • If you found out that there's a common interest between the two of you, you can try and setup a time so that the two of you can do that activity together. You can also just setup a time just to grab coffee and talk or go to dinner.
  • Tell him that you enjoyed talking with him and if you haven't already done so, ask him for his contact info.
  • Tell him see you later or goodbye.

Also see: 101 Conversation Starters | How to Keep a Conversation Going | First Date Conversation Starters

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