Funny Would You Rather Questions

(also see Good and for Kids)

Funny, silly, and gross would you rather questions to ask.

  • Would you rather be a cow or a chicken?
  • Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?
  • Would you rather have a grapefruit sized head or a head the size of a watermelon?
  • Would you rather always wear clown makeup or wear a hospital gown whenever you go out of your home?
  • Would you rather be a tree or have to live in a tree for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather always sing instead of talking or always skip everywhere instead of walking?
  • Would you rather be a giant hamster or a tiny elephant?

  • Would you rather be a horrible dancer or a horrible singer?
  • You're in a crowded room, would you rather fart loudly and everyone laughs at you or be the only one laughing obnoxiously when someone else farts?
  • Would you rather begin every sentence with "Hey idiot" or end every sentence with "...Ha ha, I was just kidding."
  • Would you rather be a feminine man or a masculine woman?
  • Would you rather drink everything from a baby bottle or wear diapers for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have to announce to everyone around you whenever you have to fart or pee your pants daily?
  • Would you rather be the smartest moron or dumbest genius?
  • Would you rather have shave your eyebrows or dye them pink?
  • Would you rather have a unibrow or no eyebrows?
  • Would you rather live out in the wilderness alone or live on as a homeless person in a big city.
  • Would you rather feel like you have to sneeze for the rest of your life or feel like you have to fart for the rest of your life?

  • Would you rather smell your own poop or smell someone else's fart?
  • Would you rather eat poop that tastes like chocolate or chocolate that tastes like poop?
  • Would your rather lick the floor in a public bathroom or lick the door handle in a public bathroom?
  • Would you rather be toilet paper or tissue paper?
  • Would you rather eat a can of dog food or a rotten banana?
  • Would you rather fart really loud or poop your pants silently?
  • Would you rather have diarrhea every day for the next 3 months or be constipated every day for the next 3 months?
  • Would you rather wear a stranger's underwear or brush your teeth with their toothbrush?
  • Would you rather poop your pants once a year in public or every day in private?
  • You're in a public bathroom, would you rather sit on a wet toilet seat or find out that there's no toilet paper after you're finished?
  • Would you rather pee every time you stood up or poop every time you sit down?
  • Would you rather lick a sweaty armpit or chew on a clean toenail?

Also see: Funny Conversation Starters | Would You Rather Questions | Random Conversation Generator

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