Funny Conversation Starters

Ask a question that'll get a funny response.

• I bet you can't make me laugh! Do you know any funny jokes?
• What are things that you should not say at your own wedding?
• What's something silly that you believed as a kid?
• If you could choose to have any useless super power, what would you pick?
• What is your most embarrassing moment?

• If you were in a circus, what would your job be?
• What are some things you shouldn't say at work?
• Tell me about something that made you laugh this week.
• If you were a vegetable, what type of vegetable would you be?
• What are some things that you shouldn't say when receiving a gift?
• If you had an imaginary friend, what would his/her name be?
• What is the worst advice that you got that you actually listened to?
• What's the worst thing you can say on a first date?
• Would you rather be stuck in a room with a cranky old man or be stuck in a room with a cranky toddler?
• What are some things that you should not say at a funeral?
• What are some things that you should not not say during a job interview?
• If you needed to hide an elephant, how and where would you hide it?

Tell a funny story that relates your current enviroment, that recently happened to you, or based off of current events. Rehearse ahead of time so that you'll hit all of your key points and deliver a great punchline.

Use a silly one liner to open up conversation, such as:

• My mom said I shouldn't talk to strangers, but you don't look scary.
• Question: Do you know much a polar bear weighs? - Answer: Just enough to break the ice. ...and then introduce yourself.
• Excuse me, but I do think it is about time we met.
• I'd tell you a joke about cows... but I'd probably butcher it.
• We both have something in common. You don't know what I'm going to say and neither do I.

Observational humor is timely, since it relates to the enviroment you are in:

• If it's really hot, "It's so hot in here, my sweat started sweating."
• If it's really early in the morning, "It's so early that the sun hasn't even gotten up yet."
• If it's really cold, say, "It's so cold that I chipped a tooth on my soup."

Playfully making fun of yourself will help put others at ease:

• If you are underdressed for a formal event, say, Wow, I really overdressed for this.
• If you are known as a boastful person, say, "I'm the humblest person I know." followed by something that you'd normally boast about, such as, "and by the way, I just got a huge promotion at work."
• If you are really tall, say, "I'm really not really this tall, I'm just sitting on my wallet."

Use a cheesy pick up line to break the ice with a stranger that catches your eye :

• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
• If you were a booger, I would pick you first.
• Can you take a picture with me? I want to prove to my friends that angels are real.
• If you were a dessert, you'd be the sweetest thing on the menu.

Memorize a few short jokes or one-liners that you can use, such as:

• When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
• If you ate pasta and antipasto during the same meal, would you still be hungry?
• Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted (assaulted).
• I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
• I can’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
• I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.
• I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
• I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.
• I used to be a butcher, but I couldn’t cut it.